How would I react if the Chiefs actually won the Superbowl?

Up until a couple of years ago it was a case of what would I do if the Chiefs actually won a playoff game? Well the answer to that was buy a lot of beer in and drink merrily all by myself for a day or two. Not the wildest of shenanigans but what else was I supposed to do? Eat horse poo? After all I had waited a very long time to see the Chiefs finally break their January duck so maybe it could have been acceptable . . .  Ok, it wouldn’t have.

Obviously we haven’t won a playoff game since then but this team has always looked like the type that isn’t too far away from making that Superbowl run, so naturally it has me thinking about how would I react if the Chiefs actually won the big game? What silliness would I get up to if the Chiefs actually became world champions!

Well the initial reaction would be euphoria. Not the pilled up, happy hardcore, ibiza weekender type of euphoria. The type of euphoria that only sport can cause. That few seconds after seeing your team score a goal or touchdown for me cannot be matched. It’s almost like an out of body experience because it is impossible to recreate without having the trigger that is a sporting event.

If we want to use an example of how I behaved like this before let’s head back to the 2014 FA Cup Final. My beloved Arsenal (Did you know I support Arsenal podcast listeners?) had gone 9 long years without a trophy, with the drought appearing to go on for another year as Hull City took a shock two nil lead. However, Arsenal clawed the game back to send the final into extra time.

And then this happened…


With just a few minutes to go Aaron Ramsey toe punted Arsenal into the lead. My reaction to this goal is still talked about now at family dinners and here’s why.

My Dad had recently had an accident at work and was recovering from a broken femur. His entire thigh is now a mixture of muscle, bone and metal. To be honest he was lucky enough to still be alive so a broken leg didn’t seem too bad. As he left the hospital the doctor gave him strict instructions to take it easy and not to put weight on it.

Well obviously I missed that memo . . .

As Ramsey wheeled off celebrating what looked like to be the winner, as did I. And there was only one place I was heading to celebrate. I can still remember my poor old man’s face as all 17 stone and 6”4 of me headed his way. He didn’t need to say anything as the expression in his eyes did it for him, “please don’t jump at me you fat git”.

Forgetting his recent injury I leaped and forced him to catch me as we celebrated. What followed was a 58 year old man screaming in pain in the middle of the pub because his stupid son forgot his entire situation.

Now don’t get me wrong, if the Chiefs win the Superbowl, I am not going to go off and find the nearest disabled person to pounce on. But I will be an uncontrollable mess for a good few seconds. What I do in the those few seconds after ther Chiefs eventually win the Superbowl is not the normal me. I cannot be held accountable for that version of myself, if I jump on you I am sorry, If i throw a beer on you I am sorry, If I accidentally punch you whilst jumping up and down well tough luck, you should have got out of my way.

My own personal party would last a lot longer than a day or two. It would be a celebration that last weeks, maybe months. The only challenge of the Chiefs winning the Superbowl would be convincing Mrs Arrowheads Abroad that I should be able to fly out to Kansas City for the bus parade.

Here’s to hoping that I have that conversation sooner, rather than later.

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